Ben & Jerry's Coconut Cream Pie

This is like eating God's pussy. Smooth, creamy coconut ice cream with soft blond pie crust pieces and toasted coconut flakes – it's enough to make a coconuttin' son of a monkey cry.

Coconut Cream Pie packs all the fun of a coconut cream pie into one beautiful pint, and with none of the potential for pie-fights that our society normally attaches to these sorts of pies. Truly one of Ben & Jerry's all time greatest achievements, and get this – it's low fat (by Ben & Jerry's standards, at least).

For those who do not like coconut, and I meet a suspicious amount of people who make that claim, I say give up your harsh prejudices and taste this succulent goodness for yourself. If you still don't like coconut afterwards, then by Jesus, I want a divorce.

Editor's note: Helene's increasingly incoherent ramblings are the result of the local pharmacy refusing to refill her poorly-forged prescriptions for antipsychotic medication. The wildly exaggerated opinions contained herein are not necessarily those of the Loud Bassoon staff, except for the line about God's pussy, which we all agree with.

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Review by Helene Bacon