Silent Hill (2006)
Directed by Christophe Gans
<Directed by Roger Avary

I thought I was an idiot to not be able to follow this movie until I realized it was based on a videogame. Despite my belief that Radha Mitchell should be a huge star and that anything she chooses to star in is de facto gold, Silent Hill just made no fucking sense.

Now, admittedly, I was a bit inebriated going into this film, but even my non-drunk (and even "smober") friends couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on. How did Mitchell lose her daughter? What's the urgency, exactly? Why is Sean Bean pursuing them, but they're never on-screen together? All of the driving plot elements were incredibly sketchy, and while the cinematography was incredibly cool, I still felt like I was watching my brother play some shit on his PS2.

The last half hour got good, kinda like The Wicker Man but with more emotional closure, but overall Silent Hill really seemed like it would only make sense to geeks and teens. If you fall into those camps, well, enjoy. I'm gonna go get a sandwich.

blank stare

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by Urszula Heck