The fact that it trots out the ol' "multiple-initially-disconnected-but-later-revealed-to-be-intricately-interwoven-storylines" approach just adds insult to injury. Unless you can truly handle Robert Altman's sense of scope (Crash can't, and come to think of it, neither can Robert Altman, most of the time), don't try it. Crash is so contrived and ham-fisted, it's much closer to a corporate sensitivity-training video than an Academy Award® Best Picture (which, predictably, it is). The story tracks several plot threads involving "racism" in the broadest textbook sense—each character finds himself or herself in an uncomfortable situation, and reacts with the kind of over-the-top prejudiced invective that only actually ever happens in one-act plays penned by "radical" college students and movies that want to make sure you don't confuse depictions of racism with racism. If the film's intent is to provoke discomfort, it succeeds: my ass got super tired sitting through it, and my eyes hurt from the constant rolling. What is interesting is that Crash really seems to think it is delicately dissecting the deep and troublesome nuances of racism, but in fact it paints in broad strokes that ultimately serveup even more clichés than it set out to invert. For example, a Rich White Woman walks down the street and fears an approaching Young Black Buck— who then does, in fact, mug her! A White-Society-Approved™ Black Lawyer has a cracked out Black Mama, and can't distinguish his Latina girlfriend's nationality! A White-ified Successful Black Guy is taunted by his Hot Mulatto Wife for not being Black Enough after he doesn't stand up to the Racist White Cop who gropes her during a traffic stop! The Racist White Cop's Idealistic Rookie Partner struggles to contain his disgust, showing that Not All White Cops Are Racist Pigs®. The Racist White Cop has to rely on a Black Secretary to process his dying father's medical paperwork, and ends up having to save the Hot Mulatto in a car crash! An "Arab" Store Owner tragically suffers misdirected post-9/11 xenophobia, but turns out to be the most racist one of all! The Thuggish Latino Locksmith turns out to be a Great Dad! I've seen more genuinely controversial and provocative situations on "Degrassi: The Next Generation," and done with a lighter touch. Had Crash been made in like 1975, maybe it would have proven some kind of point. But who, really, can't handle someone saying "Nigger" on screen in 2005? Old ladies? Fuck old ladies, Nigger. Crash is a do-gooder fantasy that aims to challenge us to the core and succeeds in, simply, making us feel better. It's a white liberal get-out-of-jail-free card, conveniently using its characters and its Can't-We-All-Just-Get-Along ending to absolve well-meaning people of their cultural guilt, allowing them to go enjoy their Coffee Bean Iced Blendeds in peace. For if we all have racist thoughts in our worst moments, then we are all the same. And anyway, for all their faults, it is the Whites who save the day in the movie. Phew! I'm OK, you're OK! Kudos to Crash for trying to make us think. Kudos for trying to make us feel. Kudos for trying to be honest. Kudos for casting Tony Danza alongside Don Cheadle. But as for the movie itself, its intent and its message, its clueless assumptions—a big middle finger. Rich white men shouldn't be encouraged to make movies about race relations. I'll continue to get my viewpoint on that from interracial porn, thank you very much.
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