Mountain Dew LiveWire

I am normally against well-established food and drink products being "reassessed," but Mountain Dew Code Red was such a pleasant surprise that I was very excited to see a bright ORANGE bottle of Mountain Dew sitting in the checkout cooler.

What this beverage is not, is an orange-flavored version of Code Red. What this beverage is, is a complete knockoff of Orange Crush. But it's better than Orange Crush. I can't see myself wanting one very often, in fact, maybe only 5% of the time. Here is how my Mountain Dew usage breaks down:

• Normal Mountain Dew: 75%

• Mountain Dew Code Red: 20%

• Mountain Dew LiveWire: 5%

This means that for every 20 Mountain Dews I drink, 15 of them will be regular, four will be Code Red, and one will be LiveWire.

And when I'm done with all twenty, I have to piss like a motherfucker.

Review by Professor Hydro