Mountain Dew

A lot of people drink Mountain Dew for its supposed caffeine benefits. Not me. Mountain Dew, in a bottle, at the right temperature, is simply one of the most satisfying beverages one can have. The only manner in which it does not satisfy is that it leaves me wanting more. It just flows down my throat so smoothly; it tastes so good with a vague impression of citrus; it makes me happy every time.

I have long observed that caffeine has no effect on me – if anything, it makes me drowsy. Lately, however, I've been feeling slight heart palpitations after downing a bottle. Is this the "rush" about which they market this beverage to the extreme crowd? If so, then give me a pair of rocket skates. I'm down.

I'd give Mountain Dew the highest rating, but I have to subtract because out of a fountain, Mountain Dew is merely average, and sometimes even downright bad. The canned version is good and is even easier to chug than the bottle.

Try as the imitators may, Mountain Dew cannot be topped. Every sip of Mountain Dew is a deeply personal experience, where for that moment I am at one with the ether.

Review by Professor Hydro