 Taco Bell
Rating individual Taco Bell restaurants seems like a pretty pointless undertaking anymore, as they are fairly consistent. But pointlessness has never stopped us from doing anything 'round here, so furk it.
I don't visit this particular Taco Bell often, but I've had reason to stop here a few times in the last month or so (it's on the way to my friend's house, who has child porn). I'll generally have the "hidden combo meal" #10 (it is tucked away on the menu inside and not even mentioned on the drive-thru board, as opposed to the rest of the combos advertised in giant letters and bright loud colors): three soft tacos (no lettuce) and a drink. Depending on the size of my appetite, I sometimes tack on a chili cheese burrito. This particular time, I went ahead and added the burrito, and had a Mountain Dew to drink.
Often times, Taco Bell employees seem to feel compelled to make up for my not ordering lettuce by adding extra meat and cheese, which is fine. This time, though, I got no extra meat, and I got less cheese than I think I've ever received on a Taco Bell soft taco, lettuce or no lettuce. I also received hot sauce instead of the requested mild, and the soda was too full and spilled out of the straw hole. The tacos were fine, depauperate of cheese though they were, but the chili cheese burrito was excellent, and may well have contained the cheese that didn't make it onto my tacos. I also got an Anakin Skywalker piece for my Defeat The Force contest sheet. Only four more pieces and I'll win a million dollars, and then I can finally kill you all, and have my way with the limp corpses of your wives and daughters!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!
Ahem. I've had better dining experiences at Bell, but I've certainly had worse. The minor problems I had on this trip I'll just chalk up to employee apathy and absent-mindedness, which we have all grown to expect from fast-food experiences, especially at Taco Bell. As for my own apathy and absent-mindedness, that's mainly due to years and years of hardcore marijuana use. What was I doing? Oh, the Taco Bell review. Rating individual Taco Bell restaurants seems like a pretty pointless undertaking anymore …
Review by Mario Speedwagon, May 1999 |