 Wham! I have no idea why this hasn't been released in the U.S., as it's been out in the U.K. since Wham! broke up in 1986. For anyone who listened to Top 40 radio or cruised Fire Island in the 80s, Wham! is unbeatable listening, even chock full as it is with dated production values and sheer ridiculousness. If the idea of George Michael rapping lines like "Hey jerk, you work" and "I'm a soul boy, I'm a doughboy" doesn't do anything for you, then this CD will probably leave you cold, but for me, it's damn near essential. The early Wham! singles ("Wham Rap," "Young Guns," "Bad Boys," "Club Tropicana") combine a weirdo street bravado informed by early 80s hip-hop, but filtered through rich-kid clubhopper jingo. The music is a blend of bad rap, late period Studio 54 grooves, and George Michael's recognizable melodic gift. It's easy to forget about these songs in the wake of Michael's impressive solo career (that wasn't a masturbation joke, by the way), but these were actually big hits. Listening now they sound crude, like those early Madonna singles you always see at Circuit City, but George and pal Andrew Ridgeley were like 19 when they recorded these tracks. Much better than my output at 19, which consisted primarily of semen. "Club Tropicana" is probably the most forgettable, but not a bad song in a cruise-ship disco sort of way. Track five begins the slew of hits that chronicle Wham!'s superstardom period: "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," "Careless Whisper," "Freedom," "Everything She Wants," "I'm Your Man," "The Edge of Heaven." Sure they were pop, but they were good pop a'plenty. George Michael's songwriting talent is undeniable as his voice or his erection (that was a masturbation joke). The singles are still a pleasure to hear, especially "Careless Whisper" and "Freedom," which haven't really dated like the others, even as they are inextricably identified with the 80's. Okay, maybe the sax hook in "Careless Whisper" is dated, but I'd be willing to bet that 95% of sax players currently playing in ska bands can play it by heart. Either way, it'd still be a monster hit if it were released today. "Freedom" is almost better, and is easily one of George Michael's greatest songs (check that prechorus, damn!) … sure it's a Motown ripoff, but it's damn good, and besides, you're a Motown ripoff, jackass. The Final includes a few also-ran hits ("Last Christmas," "A Different Corner," "Battlestations," and "Where Did Your Heart Go?") of which the first two are excellent, the third is painful, and the last is fine. "A Different Corner" is the most indicative of Michael's solo career, and while definitely 80s, is a pretty damn beautiful song. This CD shows off a range most people don't associate with Wham! If you're a George Michael fan, this is bliss, if not, this is still wonderful listening. And if you hate pop music entirely, I'm sure you still like to imagine stroking George Michael's hard cock in a damp public restroom. Don't deny it, you sick fuck, I know what you're really like.
Review by Pammie Dopamine |