 Smashing Pumpkins Do you know why I hate rock critics? When the last Smashing Pumpkins album came out (1998's Adore), they universally embraced it, calling it innovative, daring, blah blah blah etc. And when it "tanked" (it only went platinum, as opposed to, say, 7 times platinum) and MACHINA was released, critics were falling over themselves to declare the last album a "misstep" or "failure." What the F? They all embraced MACHINA as well, but it too tanked (followed closely by the disintegration of the band), so be sure to look for critics to turn their backs on it as soon as the new flavor comes along. I liked Adore, and still do. But as a Pumpkins fan I was terribly disappointed by MACHINA, the last formal major-label release by this once-great band. This 70-minute-plus album feels much, much longer than it actually is, and as Billy Corgan has never exactly been an engrossing vocalist to begin with, this one's kind of a trudge to get through. Problem #1: The production. Layers and layers of keyboards and guitars make each song a swamp of bad alternative-rock clichés. It took five engineers to make an album sound this bad? It's a painful aural experience, especially after listening to the stripped down and overall more effective songs on Adore. Problem #2: The songs. Far too many of these songs sound like bad Cure covers. "The Sacred and Profane" (which Corgan thought was good enough to name the subsequent tour after) actually starts out like Billie Myers "Kiss the Rain." I'm not kidding. Most of these songs will cause reflexive CD skipovers – four seconds is about all you need to make up your mind about "The Imploding Voice," "Wound," "Blue Skies Bring Tears," etc. "The Crying Tree Of Mercury" tries to sound, I don't know, like Oriental or something. It's pretty awful, but less than four minutes, at least. Which brings me to my last "point" … Problem #3: The length of the album. Corgan seems nearly incapable of writing a short, effective song anymore. I'm all for musical exploration, but come on! The casual listener who manages to survive four and a half minutes of bad new age music in "Raindrops and Sunshowers" and six minutes of sub-lo-fi crap in "Heavy Metal Machine" will surely surrender to "Glass and The Ghost Children," ten minutes of horror that's actually two equally awful songs linked by a Billy Corgan spoken word interlude about God. Paging Neal Peart! Wow. Somewhere a Pumpkins obsessive is in awe of this "song," but the rest of us would-be fans are in deep, deep trouble. Top it all off with depressing artwork and funny-smelling CD liner notes, and you have the essence of MACHINA. Actually, the last track, "Age Of Innocence," is terrific, a thankfully short one in the spirit of "Tonight Tonight" and "1979" – it should have really been put earlier in the track listing, might have even made the album seem less turgid. "Stand Inside Your Love" and "Try Try Try" are mildly tolerable, but I don't think I'll ever be struck with a burning urge to listen to them. Billy Corgan really is a huge talent and I'm a big fan of his best work – it's just a shame this had to be the "last" Pumpkins album. But then, it's not like I want another one after MACHINA. Factor in Corgan's increasingly embarrassing tirades against Britney Spears and company (easy target), and you start getting a bad taste in your mouth about a guy who has truly created some of the best rock shit in recent mind. That said, don't get me started on Greg f'n Kot. You think this review sounded harsh, it's baby talk compared to how I feel about that impotent fuckwad.
Review by POW! |