 Melissa Etheridge I seem to be the only critic trying to preserve the misty lore of the early CD era, the only person with genuine nostalgia for those bygone days when you could get Radio KAOS by Roger Waters on CD but not Pet Sounds. Fast-forward to the late-80s, when CD-singles began to make themselves known (as "CD-5s," briefly, to distinguish them from my precious forgotten CD-3s), and record companies hadn't really figured out what to do with them. In this era, also, REM was still more or less considered cool and Melissa Etheridge was considered edgy! Yes, children, gather round and I'll spin tales of Wayne Green's CD Review magazine and record stores filled with longboxes! I really don't know who these reviews are supposed to benefit, as I root through my CD collection and review primarily the CDs I intend to get rid of – so that almost no current CDs ever get into the Guide, yet you can find detailed reviews of 3-track CD singles from 1989, like this one, the lead single from Melissa Etheridge's Brave and Crazy album. Oh well, on with it then. Of course, nowadays Melissa Etheridge has a coolness factor approximately halfway between Richard Marx and Bruce Springsteen, but there was a time when she was being hailed as the rebirth of rock itself. This was around the same time as that supposed "folk revival" that supposedly happened in the supposed mid-to-late 80s. The long and short of it, though, is that to my ears nowadays, this CD is about as opposite as you could possibly get to something I would even remotely consider buying. Talk about slick production … yow, you could throw a bonspiel on this sound! (Arcane curling reference thrown in for all you curlers out there. Your sport shall be neglected no longer! *Tap, tap* Is this thing on?) Even if I saw this CD at Target for $1.99, I would not pick it up out of curiosity – in fact, I would probably not even see the disc, just a big blurry gap in the singles rack. I can't really say it's bad – just not my cupp'a tea anymore. The disc features two versions of the title track (the album version, and a virtually identical live version that at least does not have that late-80s sheen all over it), and a ten minute version of "Like the Way I Do," which is the main reason for anyone to seek this CD out. Melissa Etheridge fans will love it – it's a great version of one of her signature songs. I must say, that's a song that sounded bold at the time, but now seems a hundred times more bold considering it was a lesbian love song released during the politically and culturally conservative 80s. Unfortunately, it's very true that Melissa Etheridge is an artist I repect a lot more than I want to listen to. This "souvenir" of the early CD era is heading down to the used CD shop very soon, where hopefully it will find a more appreciative owner. But this is no political act – as always, I will continue to promote the lesbian agenda by dropping appropriate quotes from Amanda Bearse into whatever it is I happen to be reviewing. Example: (in review of theoretical King Diamond box set): "And as Amanda Bearse always says, Danish horror-metal is always best appreciated in large doses, like cunnilingus and equality in marriage law."
Review by Dario Haskins |