Top 10 Matchups of Countries That Should Go to War
by Illusion Master
1. Kingdom of Swaziland vs. Kingdom of Lesotho
Let's face it, folks, these
are two countries completely engulfed by other countries. If they were
to go into battle, the victor would not only get to take over the other
country, but also the land in-between, creating a much larger country.
And since they are so tiny, people would root for both of them, because
they're both underdogs.
2. Canada vs. United Mexican States
This is a fascinating premise. The two
countries are essentially meaningless to North America, yet are both
still part of it. But then they have the United States dividing them!
The U.S. would have to stay neutral as they figured out a way to settle
their differences. Also, notice the contrast Canada is a frozen,
desolate wasteland, while Mexico is a boiling, desolate wasteland.
3. Commonwealth of Australia vs. United Kingdom of Great Britain and
The descendants of criminals finally get to strike back
at their mean mistreaters. Australia is many times the size of Great
Britain, but the UK can escape through the Chunnel! With kangaroos,
koala bears, and boomerangs, I don't know if the Brits could hold off the
4. United States of America vs. Georgia
This is a classic battle caused by
name infringement. If the U.S. wins, it can claim the nation of Georgia
as part of the state. If Georgia wins, it annexes the state of Georgia.
5. Republic of Chile vs. Republic of Turkey
One of these countries will
emerge as the world's sole food provider, but which will it be? Hungary
has a vested interest, and Greece has been known to have dealings with both.
6. Trinidad vs. Tobago
This isn't so much a country-on-country matchup as
it is a civil war. For years they have been known as Trinidad & Tobago,
a pair as recognizable as Batman & Robin, or having your cake & eating
it, too. They both want autonomy but will the resulting amount of
bloodshed make it all worth it?
7. Oriental Republic of Uruguay vs. Republic of Paraguay
Kids who have
been forced to memorize the countries of South America have many times
been stung by the Uruguay/Paraguay conundrum. The winner stays, the
loser dissolves. But the real winners here are 7th graders around the world.
8. Republic of Madagascar vs. Japan
Both are countries off the eastern
coasts of large continents, and both are major economic powers. But only
one is a key to winning at Risk. The winner gets to pull a card from the
pile, with the chance at taking over the rest of the world.
9. Republic of Chad vs. Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan
Who is Chad? Who is
Jordan? The answers would be sure to surface when the dark masters of
these countries finally reveal their identities.
10. Republic of Austria vs. Commonwealth of Australia
There is no love lost
between these two longtime foes. One is responsible for the world's most
evil man, while the other has given us the brilliance of Yahoo Serious
(I'm serious!). Australia is clearly not the aggressor in this one, and
what's more, most of its resources are tied up in the war with Britain.
Principality of Andorra vs. Principality of Monaco vs.
Republic of San Marino vs. Principality of Liechtenstein vs. Holy See
The winner of this five-way brawl will come out as the
king of the little European countries.