function header(){document.writeln('<div align=center><a href="http://www.loudbassoon.com"><img'+ ' src="/images/lboz_header.jpg" border="0" alt="The Loud Bassoon Online Zine" title="The Loud Bassoon Online Zine"></a></div>');}function recordDirectory(){document.writeln('<p><br><font class="recordCategories"><a ');document.writeln('size=2 color=#CD5C5C><a href="/records/a.html"><b>A</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/b.html"><b>B</b></a> <a href="/records/c.html"><b>C</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/d.html"><b>D</b></a> <a href="/records/e.html"><b>E</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/f.html"><b>F</b></a> <a href="/records/g.html"><b>G</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/h.html"><b>H</b></a> <a href="/records/i.html"><b>I</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/j.html"><b>J</b></a> <a href="/records/k.html"><b>K</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/l.html"><b>L</b></a> <a href="/records/m.html"><b>M</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/n.html"><b>N</b></a> <a href="/records/o.html"><b>O</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/p.html"><b>P</b></a> <a href="/records/q.html"><b>Q</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/r.html"><b>R</b></a> <a href="/records/s.html"><b>S</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/t.html"><b>T</b></a> <a href="/records/u.html"><b>U</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/v.html"><b>V</b></a> <a href="/records/w.html"><b>W</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/x.html"><b>X</b></a> <a href="/records/y.html"><b>Y</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/z.html"><b>Z</b></a> <a href="/records/comps.html"><b>various</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/soundtracks.html"><b>soundtracks</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/records/recordstores.html"><b>record stores</b></a></font>');}function footer(){  document.writeln('<BR><BR><a href="/animals"><img src="/images/animals.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/beverages"><img src="/images/beverages.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/cinema"><img src="/images/cinema.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/concerts"><img src="/images/concerts.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/doodles"><img src="/images/doodles.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/driving"><img src="/images/driving.jpg" border="0"></a><BR><a href="/entertainment"><img src="/images/entertainment.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/dining"><img src="/images/dining.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/food"><img src="/images/food.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/halloffame"><img src="/images/halloffame.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/literature"><img src="/images/literature.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/news"><img src="/images/news.jpg" border="0"></a><BR><a href="/online_mints"><img src="/images/onlinemints.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/ponyboy"><img src="/images/ponyboy_sm.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/records"><img src="/images/records.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/sports"><img src="/images/sports.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/television"><img src="/images/television.jpg" border="0"></a><a href="/videogames"><img src="/images/videogames.jpg" border="0"></a>');}function lilPuppies(n){  if (n > 0)  {    for (i=1; i <= n; i++)    {      document.write('<img src="/images/lilpuppy.gif" alt="' + i + ' lil\' puppies" title="' + i + ' lil\' puppies">');    }  }  document.writeln('<br> <br><font size=-2><a href="/ratingscale.html">Loud Bassoon rating scale</a></font><br>');}function filmDirectory(){document.writeln('<p><br><font class="recordCategories"><a ');document.writeln('size=2 color=#FA3435><a href="/cinema/a.html"><b>A</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/b.html"><b>B</b></a> <a href="/cinema/c.html"><b>C</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/d.html"><b>D</b></a> <a href="/cinema/e.html"><b>E</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/f.html"><b>F</b></a> <a href="/cinema/g.html"><b>G</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/h.html"><b>H</b></a> <a href="/cinema/i.html"><b>I</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/j.html"><b>J</b></a> <a href="/cinema/k.html"><b>K</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/l.html"><b>L</b></a> <a href="/cinema/m.html"><b>M</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/n.html"><b>N</b></a> <a href="/cinema/o.html"><b>O</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/p.html"><b>P</b></a> <a href="/cinema/q.html"><b>Q</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/r.html"><b>R</b></a> <a href="/cinema/s.html"><b>S</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/t.html"><b>T</b></a> <a href="/cinema/u.html"><b>U</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/v.html"><b>V</b></a> <a href="/cinema/w.html"><b>W</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/x.html"><b>X</b></a> <a href="/cinema/y.html"><b>Y</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/cinema/z.html"><b>Z</b></a> <a href="/cinema/videos.html"><b>collections</b></a> <a href="/cinema/theatres.html"><b>theatres</b></a></font>');}function beverageDirectory(){document.writeln('<p><br><font class="recordCategories"><a ');document.writeln('size=2 color=#CD5C5C><a href="/beverages/a.html"><b>A</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/b.html"><b>B</b></a> <a href="/beverages/c.html"><b>C</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/d.html"><b>D</b></a> <a href="/beverages/e.html"><b>E</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/f.html"><b>F</b></a> <a href="/beverages/g.html"><b>G</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/h.html"><b>H</b></a> <a href="/beverages/i.html"><b>I</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/j.html"><b>J</b></a> <a href="/beverages/k.html"><b>K</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/l.html"><b>L</b></a> <a href="/beverages/m.html"><b>M</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/n.html"><b>N</b></a> <a href="/beverages/o.html"><b>O</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/p.html"><b>P</b></a> <a href="/beverages/q.html"><b>Q</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/r.html"><b>R</b></a> <a href="/beverages/s.html"><b>S</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/t.html"><b>T</b></a> <a href="/beverages/u.html"><b>U</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/v.html"><b>V</b></a> <a href="/beverages/w.html"><b>W</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/x.html"><b>X</b></a> <a href="/beverages/y.html"><b>Y</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/beverages/z.html"><b>Z</b></a> <a href="/beverages/containers"><b>containers</b></a></font>');}function candyDirectory(){document.writeln('<p><br><font class="recordCategories"><a ');document.writeln('size=2 color=#CD5C5C><a href="/food/candy/a.html"><b>A</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/b.html"><b>B</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/c.html"><b>C</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/d.html"><b>D</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/e.html"><b>E</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/f.html"><b>F</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/g.html"><b>G</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/h.html"><b>H</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/i.html"><b>I</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/j.html"><b>J</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/k.html"><b>K</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/l.html"><b>L</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/m.html"><b>M</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/n.html"><b>N</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/o.html"><b>O</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/p.html"><b>P</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/q.html"><b>Q</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/r.html"><b>R</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/s.html"><b>S</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/t.html"><b>T</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/u.html"><b>U</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/v.html"><b>V</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/w.html"><b>W</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/x.html"><b>X</b></a> <a href="/food/candy/.html"><b>Y</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/candy/z.html"><b>Z</b></a></font>');}function tvDirectory(){document.writeln('<p><br><font class="recordCategories"><a ');document.writeln('size=2 color=#CD5C5C><a href="/television/a.html"><b>A</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/b.html"><b>B</b></a> <a href="/television/c.html"><b>C</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/d.html"><b>D</b></a> <a href="/television/e.html"><b>E</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/f.html"><b>F</b></a> <a href="/television/g.html"><b>G</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television//h.html"><b>H</b></a> <a href="/television/i.html"><b>I</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/j.html"><b>J</b></a> <a href="/television/k.html"><b>K</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/l.html"><b>L</b></a> <a href="/television/m.html"><b>M</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/n.html"><b>N</b></a> <a href="/television/o.html"><b>O</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/p.html"><b>P</b></a> <a href="/television/q.html"><b>Q</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/r.html"><b>R</b></a> <a href="/television/s.html"><b>S</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/t.html"><b>T</b></a> <a href="/television/u.html"><b>U</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/v.html"><b>V</b></a> <a href="/television/w.html"><b>W</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/x.html"><b>X</b></a> <a href="/television/y.html"><b>Y</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/television/z.html"><b>Z</b></a></font>');}function diningDirectory(){document.writeln('<p><br><font class="recordCategories"><a ');document.writeln('size=2 color=#CD5C5C><a href="/dining/a.html"><b>A</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/b.html"><b>B</b></a> <a href="/dining/c.html"><b>C</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/d.html"><b>D</b></a> <a href="/dining/e.html"><b>E</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/f.html"><b>F</b></a> <a href="/dining/g.html"><b>G</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/h.html"><b>H</b></a> <a href="/dining/i.html"><b>I</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/j.html"><b>J</b></a> <a href="/dining/k.html"><b>K</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/l.html"><b>L</b></a> <a href="/dining/m.html"><b>M</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/n.html"><b>N</b></a> <a href="/dining/o.html"><b>O</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/p.html"><b>P</b></a> <a href="/dining/q.html"><b>Q</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/r.html"><b>R</b></a> <a href="/dining/s.html"><b>S</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/t.html"><b>T</b></a> <a href="/dining/u.html"><b>U</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/v.html"><b>V</b></a> <a href="/dining/w.html"><b>W</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/x.html"><b>X</b></a> <a href="/dining/y.html"><b>Y</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/dining/z.html"><b>Z</b></a><BR><a href="/dining/states.html"><b>browse by state</b></a> &#183; <a href="/dining/intl.html"><b>browse by country</b></a></font>');}function foodDirectory(){document.writeln('<p><br><font class="recordCategories"><a ');document.writeln('size=2 color=#CD5C5C><a href="/beverages"><b>beverages</b></a> &#183; <a ');document.writeln('size=2 color=#CD5C5C><a href="/food/bread"><b>bread</b></a> &#183; <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/breathfresheners"><b>breath fresheners</b></a> &#183; <a href="/food/candy"><b>candy</b></a> &#183; <a href="/food/cannedgoods"><b>canned goods</b></a> &#183; <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/cereal"><b>cereal</b></a> &#183; <a href="/food/chips"><b>chips</b></a><BR><a ');document.writeln('href="/food/cigarettes"><b>cigarettes</b></a> &#183; <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/fruits"><b>fruits</b></a> &#183; <a href="/food/hotmeals"><b>hot meals</b></a> &#183; <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/icecream"><b>ice cream</b></a> &#183; <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/popcorn"><b>popcorn</b></a> &#183; <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/sauces"><b>sauces</b></a> &#183; <a ');document.writeln('href="/food/spreads"><b>spreads</b></a> &#183; <a href="/food/vitamins"><b>vitamins</b></a></font>');}function literatureDirectory(){document.writeln('<p><br><font class="recordCategories"><a ');document.writeln('size=2 color=#CD5C5C><a href="/literature/a.html"><b>A</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/literature/b.html"><b>B</b></a> <a href="/literature/c.html"><b>C</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/literature/d.html"><b>D</b></a> <a href="/literature/e.html"><b>E</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/literature/f.html"><b>F</b></a> <a href="/literature/g.html"><b>G</b></a> <a 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');document.writeln('href="/literature/z.html"><b>Z</b></a> <a href="/literature/comics"><b>comics</b></a> <a href="/literature/periodicals"><b>periodicals</b></a></font>');}function videogamesDirectory(){document.writeln('<p><br><font class="recordCategories"><a ');document.writeln('size=2 color=#CD5C5C><a href="/videogames/a.html"><b>A</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/videogames/b.html"><b>B</b></a> <a href="/videogames/c.html"><b>C</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/videogames/d.html"><b>D</b></a> <a href="/videogames/e.html"><b>E</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/videogames/f.html"><b>F</b></a> <a href="/videogames/g.html"><b>G</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/videogames/h.html"><b>H</b></a> <a href="/videogames/i.html"><b>I</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/videogames/j.html"><b>J</b></a> <a href="/videogames/k.html"><b>K</b></a> <a ');document.writeln('href="/videogames/l.html"><b>L</b></a> <a href="/videogames/m.html"><b>M</b></a> <a 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