Flanagan Whole Dill Pickle

FLANAGAN: Hey Schmeckler, I got a new idea.

SCHMECKLER: What is it this time, Flanagan? Let me guess … drink whisky all day like every other goddamn Irishman!

FLANAGAN (chuckling): No, no … well, maybe … no, don't steer me into temptation! I have a solution that will save our failing business!

SCHMECKLER: Oh, you, do, eh? And what's so wrong with SCHMECKLER & FLANAGAN'S ONE SINGLE WHOLE DILL PICKLE IN A 20-FOOT IRON BOX?

FLANAGAN: I was just thinking … what if instead of the 20-foot iron box, we packaged each single whole dill pickle in a small bag more suited to its size?

SCHMECKLER (guffawing derisively): BAW HAW HAW HAW! You shitty Irishman! Shows all you know about BUSINESS! It'll never fly!."

Now, neither of these men's ideas was top-shelf. But no matter what Schmeckler says, Flanagan's pickle in a bag gets the edge. Perhaps to you, a single-serving-pickle-in-a-bag just seems odd, but if you want a pickle and don't want to buy a whole jar, you have to admit it's a rather innovative solution.

And Flanagan's is a nice, crisp, sweet, juicy pickle. Sure, it's nothing special pickle-wise, but there's a reason you can still buy 'em here and there. Yet you never see a Schmeckler's "Gold Standard" Reinforced Iron Pickle Box anywhere outside of the goddamned antique mall!

Review by Higgldy-Piggldy