Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie

Still a standby classic from Ben & Jerry's, Chocolate Fudge Brownie never tires. I think there are two versions available, but I always get the low fat version, because they taste exactly the same. I'm sure there are people out there who will insist "Low fat just doesn't taste the same." Right, well, whatever. If that's the case, I offer this idea: your ass and mine just aren't the same, either. Mine's not huge.

Egad, that was uncharacteristically hostile. Clearly I'm trying to assuage my own guilt at eating so much goddamn ice cream and candy just so I can review it. That's truly a sign of dementia, I think. Anyway, this is a deep chocolate experience – incidentally, I was once in a funk band with that name, much in the same vein as mid-80s Kool & the Gang. We used to mayonnaise our Afros down and hit the dancefloor with our hot grooves. Later, we'd cool down with pints of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie, remarking at the pure tastiness of the chocolate ice cream and chewy chocolate brownie chunks within.

We could have been New Jack kings, I swear it. But then G.P. got fat, and Rollo got married. It was very much an African-American twist on the Bryan Adams song "Summer of '69." These days I work as a DJ, and I'm still spinning the slow jams.

Jesus christ, was this supposed to be an ice cream review? I really should stop writing these things immediately after getting hit in the head with a two-by-four.

Review by Teensy Weensy