Wonka Xploder

I thought this was going to be something along the lines of fruity taffy, but in fact it is more like a Nestlé Crunch crossed with Pop Rocks. A unique and somewhat thrilling candy bar. You take a bite and it's like a Nestlé Crunch, but then you're chewing it and you realize that thousands of explosions are occurring in your mouth.

Of course, anything bearing the Wonka imprint is bound to have some kind of shtick, but this one is surprising enough to warrant special mention. Points deducted for the terrible font used on the packaging. Note to candy makers: you are not immune to the perils of poor font choice. I almost didn't even buy this stupid thing for precisely that reason. What do you think of that, shit ass?

Ah, who am I kidding. Wonka doesn't care what I think. Neither do my editors … I suspect they only keep me on because I have a pinball machine.

Review by Deep Dickens