 Poquito Mas
The proliferation of quality burrito places out in LA is totally impressive. Poquito Mas is the best one I've encountered so far, offering all the freshness and flavor of Baja Fresh (albeit with fewer celebrities), but with a bit more of an authentic Mexican restaurant atmosphere. The real edge of this chain is its fresh salsa bar, with many different salsas to choose from, including a salsariffic chipotle salsa as well as a glorious fresh red tomato salsa and a good mild salsa verde. Mm, mm I get horny just thinking about it. Oh, did I mention I have a salsa fetish? I'm actually a registered sex offender stemming from an unfortunate incident at a carnival wherein I was caught going down on a bowl of fresh salsa in full view of a young child and her mother, who decided to press charges to "teach me a lesson about appropriate uses of salsa." I plead innocent, claiming that "I was just eating with gusto," but the judge didn't buy it and I ended up doing six months in prison, where unspeakable violations were committed against me, but fortunately I found the Lord while incarcerated … He was doing three years for conspiracy to commit armed robbery, which if you ask me is one of the lamest aspects of being the Lord, in that you are pretty much complicit in everything that goes on. Anyway, I've paid my debt to society and if I want to enjoy a delicious fresh salsa like any other respectable citizen, then I am fully entitled to that!
I dined here with two of my ex-prison buddies on our way out of LA and toward the Sierra mountains. It was a nice send-off even if it resulted in amazingly large amounts of gas being passed in the rental car for the subsequent few hours. In fact the car was so stained when we returned it that they ended up adding a $500 cleaning fee, which actually, I thought was generous on their part. There's no WAY $500 could remove all that staining. Anyway, my one companion had some kind of chicken taco, from what I recall, while the other had a beef burrito, if memory serves. I had a Vegetarian taco with no cheese (basically it was beans and lettuce), as well as a side order of chips and a cup of horchata. The entire meal was incredibly good and I'd love to go back. The salsas were fresh and full of flavor, though not blisteringly hot. The chips were homemade and delicious, and the horchata was fantastic, as it always is everywhere. All the ingredients were fresh, and their receipt declares "No lard, no MSG, no cans, and we don't even know what a freezer is!" Of course I think that's a fucking lie, I mean, there's no way they don't know what a freezer is, especially since they refer to one in that very quote, but I won't hold that against them. It's great food, and I'm amazingly tolerant. You'd be amazed at how much your demeanor changes when you've been subjected to the horrifying degradations I have. Fortunately my love of Mexican food hasn't changed, even if my love of Mexican cellmates has.
Review by La Fée, September 1999 |