You Got Served (2004)
Written & directed by Chris Stokes

The audience was curiously divided on You Got Served, according to ethnicity. The Black folks loved the music and dancing but howled at the gratuitous Ebonic dialogue and stock Black characters. The Asians payed very close attention to the dance moves, exclusively. And the White hipsters tittered derisively at what they perceived as "the worst acting ever" (actual quote).

My own take, being a Black hipster raised in a strict Asian family, was one of whole enjoyment. The dancing was ecstatic, and the clichés were terrifically half-assed. So clearly, everyone in the audience got served, one way or another.

The recipe is as follows:
1 cup Breakin'
¼ cup Bring It On
2 tsp. 8 Mile
1 tbsp. Boyz N the Hood
Stir half-heartedly. Serve extra loud.

Incidentally, do movie studios actually record Black movies at a much higher volume, to drown out the audience's inevitable hootin' and hollerin', or do the theatres take it upon themselves to do that? This was by far the loudest movie I've ever seen … considerably louder than Return of the King. Black folks sho' is loud, though.

The acting was actually pretty good – the two leads (Omarion from B2K and Marques Houston from Immature and "Sister, Sister") have definite chemistry, and Steve Harvey's support role (as "Mr. Rad") is totally winning. Cameos from Dorien Wilson (Eddie Charles from "Dream On") and Jackée Harris have the strange feel of charity work. L'il Kim plays herself, and I'm not sure what happened to her, but she now looks embarrassingly like a canned ham.

There's a stock "I got a touch of the gout" Black grandmomma, as well as an obese drug dealer (who actually wears pinstripes) who is the darkest Black man I've ever seen. Darker than Yaphet Kotto, darker than Idi Amin.

A few subplots weren't necessary, and the premise (about inner city dance crews workin' out their differences through dancing instead of fighting) is preposterous on its face. But you have to hand it to Christopher Stokes (incidentally, manager of B2K, for whom this film was supposed to be some kind of vehicle) for endeavoring to do anything more than a long-form music video here. Even so, the film's real merit is in the dancing, which is truly thrilling.

Perhaps in a few years this movie will have the same cheese factor of its ancestors (Breakin', Rappin', Playin' Sega With the Homies), but it's higher quality than those, for the most part. Certainly cheesy, but more like Brie than Co-Jack. (?)

Review by Man Meat