 The Wolf Man (1941) As with classic rock and classic bloopers, most so-called "classic" movies, especially the old monster movies, are actually quite boring and only useful in their inspiration for newer, better, more exciting movies, songs and bloopers. The Wolf Man delivers on that expectation – a creaky, slow, unexciting, and often laughable old monster movie. It isn't scary or surprising at all, and yet at times it's very entertaining in a "My, weren't they quaint little fools" fashion. Going in, my movie companions and I joked that half the movie would be scenes of characters politely discussing the Wolf Man at length, and the transformation scenes would show someone watching the Wolf Man transform while saying things like, "My God, that man is changing into some sort of half-man half-wolf! Why, he's getting hairier by the second! I'm horrified! Simply horrified!" And then cutting to the Wolf Man fully transformed. That's pretty much how it went down. There's only like three full minutes of Wolf Mannery in the entire film, all of it totally ridiculous, while the rest of the movie is scenes of people talking, most of it not about werewolves. Though only 70 minutes long, the movie drags on and on and on, and feels like hours—precious hours I could have spent painting my Classic Wolf Man model kit, or touching up my faux-Wolf Man body hair (so far, mostly on my pubis). Lon Chaney returns to his father's castle after many years and little explanation (something involving the death of the older son). About 20 minutes in, Chaney is bitten by a gypsy werewolf (Bela Lugosi), and slowly realizes that he, too, is now a werewolf. A werewolf that looks less like a wolf and more like a pudgy white man in black-face and a crazy bushy wig. The transformation scenes are a bit clunky—just cross-fades of his feet becoming larger and hairier. And even as the Wolf Man, Chaney continues to wear dress shirt, slacks and belt (it also appears in one scene that the Wolf Man has changed clothes prior to going on a rampage). Chaney towers and lumbers above the far smaller, more graceful Claude Rains, who plays his father although they truly look nothing alike. The local police don't ever suspect Chaney as the killer of several townspeople, even after he admits he's going crazy and might be turning into a bloodthirsty werewolf. The weapon used to kill the first werewolf (who transformed back into a man, thus making it a murder by bludgeoning) is returned to Chaney without question. Even direct evidence of Chaney's guilt – wounds and limping from being caught in a Wolf Man trap—is totally ignored. And Ralph Bellamy turns up in his typically thankless role as an asshole. There are many inadvertently funny moments, and some reasonably evocative atmosphere, but not enough to retain one's interest. Part of my own enjoyment was watching my companions' heads bobbing up and down as they struggled to stay awake. I literally heard the breaking heart of the woman sitting behind us whose young children told her that the movie was "boring and not scary at all." Kids these days are so media savvy, it takes heads being ripped off and guts pouring from gaping wounds to gain even mild interest. Also attending were several would-be hipsters, one in particular a young woman with bright green hair, who was heard to whisper, reverently, "Bela!" when Bela Lugosi appeared onscreen for his brief cameo (others in the audience applauded). One can only suspect that any modern interest in Lugosi was inspired by Ed Wood—but that's a Bela who is much cooler than the real one ever was. Another case of hipsters yearning to appreciate something so much that they can't see it for what it is. Lots of intense cinema-studies Lesbians have tried to make creaky old monster movies relevant by saying they gave outlet to societal fears of war or sexuality. If there's any "meta-value" to The Wolf Man, it's more about a lonely man's sexual repression and emotional abuse at the hands of his overbearing father (who is introduced to the love interest by spying on her through a telescope). But really, I'd argue that The Wolf Man was just a cheap way for Universal to make a few bucks, nothing more. I mean, since when were shitty old movies actually about anything but reaping profits? Ask Ralph Bellamy, he was in pretty much all of them, and was literally paid with handfuls of dried beans.
Review by Crimedog |