Walking Tall (2004)
Directed by Kevin Bray
Written by David Klass, Channing Gibson, David Levien, & Brian Koppelman

Let there be no doubt: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is as bona fide an action movie star as ever there was one. What you want from his movies is basically a more palatably contextualized variation on his wrestling persona. That is, you want to see him beating on some asses.

Walking Tall delivers on that expectation. There are plenty of ass-beatin' scenes with The Rock wiedling his cedar two-by-four upon some heads that deserve their proper comeuppance. I enjoyed every minute. But I'd be hard-pressed to argue that this is anything like a great film.

Some of it is so laughable that I started getting the feeling the filmmakers had to edit down what was clearly an R-rated film for the more box-office-friendly PG-13. The original film (which I love) is no great shakes, but the remake is downright lazy in virtually every respect.

Case in point: a scene in which Dwayne, on trial for busting up his corrupt former friend's casino, is railed against by a dozen or so witnesses for the prosecution, each of whom deliver articulate and legally clear rationales for locking the brute up in the slammer. Then our hero defiantly fires his lawyer, and mounts his own defense, which takes about 15 seconds and entails him taking his shirt off. The jury, and court audience, all burst into applause and cheering, and immediately elect him sheriff!

So it goes with the entire film. The Rock takes his shirt off, and/or wields his two-by-four, and you cheer at all the supposedly righteous comeuppances. Johnny Knoxville is credible and entertaining as his requisite wimpy white sidekick.

Do you smell what The Rock is cooking? I sure do, and it smells like shit, but I thank him for the privilege of smelling his impressively-toned ass anyway.

Review by Sour Dick Williams