Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
Directed by Robert Wise
Written by Harold Livingston, Alan Dean Foster, Gene Roddenberry, Leonard Nimoy, & William Shatner

Though I'm tempted to agree with one IMDb wag's assessment of "Star-Trek: The Slow-Motion Picture," simply because that's a good joke, the film has actually aged really well, and has been well served by the DVD "Director's Edition" which streamlines the editing and enhances the visual effects.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is surely ponderous, and when I saw it in the theater as a kid, I was bored out of my skull. But seeing it again as an alleged adult, I was entertained in a "Star Trek" sort of way. The movie is little more than a feature-length "Star Trek" episode, but it's effective and frequently beautiful.

The film was actually hatched as a pilot for a proposed TV show called "Star Trek: Phase Two," which was intended to be the flagship show on Paramount's woulda-been fourth network in '77. Some suits decided the idea was good enough to be a film, and so instead of what certainly would have been a failed TV show, what we got was the inaugural installment of a mostly failed film franchise.

But Star Trek movies must always be considered in their own context. The first one, from 1979, ignores Star Wars entirely, choosing to believe that science-fiction films were not interrupted by that aberration, and that Logan's Run was the correct point of departure. Hence the lack of hipness value.

There's not much story to this one – basically, Admiral Kirk commandeers the Enterprise (now captained by Stephen Collins, later of "7th Heaven") to deal with an existential crisis in which a powerful machine seeks to find its "God" – but the nostalgic feel is delightful, re-introducing all of our old "Trek" characters and putting them in some kind of imminent danger.

Though it's laborious (mountains-from-molehills created in virtually every scene, especially the many long, slow sequences involving the ship), Star Trek I is an engaging ride, rife with familiarity and plenty of eye-candy. Shatner is Shatner, Nimoy, is Nimoy, Deforrest Kelly is Deforrest Kelly … the gang's all here, and it's as comfortable as a great vintage jacket.

I don't necessarily buy into the "Star Trek" worldview, but I sure like watching the movies … this one's not very exciting, but it's got all the elements I want from a Trek movie. ST: TMP deserves to be revisited, especially in its revised form, as it's not nearly as lame as you remember. It doesn't really go where no one had gone before, but it does a smashing job of defining what Star Trek would be on the big screen. Plus, you gotta love the bald chick.

Review by The New Flo-Jo