Shark Tale (2004)
Directed by Bibo Bergeron, Vicky Jenson, & Rob Letterman
Written by Michael J. Wilson & Rob Letterman

Between Finding Nemo and Shark Tale, I think it's safe to say that every possible "fish" pun that can be employed in a cartoon has now been made, unless Pixar hires Ralph Bashiki to do a full-length adaptation of "Wet Dream" by Kip Addotta, in which case, I'm first in line. I enjoyed Nemo, but watching Shark Tale is tantamount to coming home from summer camp and finding your semi-beloved goldfish floating belly-up in a cloudy aquarium … disappointment gives way to apathy and then to total forgetfulness once you've flushed the thing down the ol' crapper.

Where Shark Tale fails is its over-reliance on celebrity voices as opposed to celebrities doing character voices … whereas Nemo featured well-known stars actually creating fully-fleshed, unique characters, this one tries to get by simply on you recognizing Will Smith, Robert DeNiro, Renee Zellweger, etc., as though that is enough. Interestingly, it is Martin Scorcese who steals the show with a hilariously manic performance completely appropriate to the character … everyone else seems to be in it merely for the paycheck.

Most problematic, though, is Shark Tale's complete lack of heart. The plot is so thin and unfounded, and the character motivation so utterly contrived, that it's hard to care one way or the other about anything in the film beyond the visuals, which, anyway, weÕve seen done better in a dozen other films. Kids probably love Shark Tale, but keep in mind, kids are fucking stupid.

Review by Melodramatically T.K.