Meet Joe Black (1998)
Directed by Martin Brest
Written by Ron Osborn & Jeff Reno

Before I rattle off the 18,000 reasons this film never should have been made, I'd like to break from tradition and present an unedited "layman's review" that was posted on the imdb:

"This movie comes as close to perfect as can possibly be done. The acting was perfect by all. The storyline was great and a nice mix of emotions evinced by it. Some humor, some seriousness but no sadness. I kept envisioning one ending but ended up with another. Mind you the actual ending was what it should be but I kept thinking it would be different. But as it turns out the ending was perfect and I wouldn't change anything......Well that's not exactly true but I won't say what because I don't want to spoil it. Anyway, I suggest everyone see this movie. I think you'll find it to be one of the best of the year if not ever."

I agree with this statement completely … in OPPOSITE WORLD! OK, question: Why, given the 10 billion or so people on this earth, would Death choose a somber billionaire recluse who can't even carry on a decent conversation as his "tour guide" of life? Death spends the entire film wandering around a giant, empty mansion, flying in helicopters to dull business meetings where he drinks tea, staring off into space, and making vague and laughable threats to Anthony Hopkins that he'd better be a good tour guide or else.

A list of what Death doesn't do in this film: eat ice cream, go on a roller coaster, urinate in public, play with children in a playground, go swing dancing, steal a candy bar from a drug store, visit Chinatown, ride the subway, get caught in a rainstorm, etc. MJB doesn't even begin to explore the possibilities inherent in this semi-interesting concept, and the manner in which it doesn't explore said possibilities is tedious and pretentious.

Brad Pitt is a mediocre actor coasting on charm and good looks. His performance here is … vague. Nobody (writer, director, Pitt) made a real choice as to who this character was. Was he lonely? Was he sad? Was he angry? I guess he was "an all-around good guy." Pitt isn't given much to work with, and does the best he can with it, which isn't much.

Anthony Hopkins is unquestionably a fine actor, but he is not always perfect (Legends of the Fall). Again, he is not given anything to work with here. William Parrish is a cold, distant character with little to say and no one to say it to. His mousy, least-favorite daughter (Marcia Gay Harden) gives a sad speech about knowing she was second-best, only hours before Parrish is convinced he will die, and what does he do? Pats her on the back and says thank you. No actor could survive this shit.

Claire Forlani is the love interest, Parrish's younger and favorite daughter. She is very beautiful and has a sweet and girlishly awkward charm, and seems to be the only character who speaks like a normal human being. She does, however, have startlingly bad taste in men, first all gooey over a top Parrish employee who screams villain from the get-go, then falling for Death. Again, nothing to work with here, people!

Jeffrey Tambor plays Marcia Gay Harden's husband, who also screams villain from the get-go, but turns out to be the single best thing about the film. He displays a broad range of emotion, and seems to be, despite his incredible insecurity, the only one in this film with any real wisdom. He should have been Death's tour guide, he should have been the center of the film. But he is relegated to a side character who only appears in a few scenes, and sadly, doesn't even have enough to merit a Best Supporting Actor nom (then again, they nominated Dan Aykroyd for three minutes of screen time in Driving Miss Daisy). This thanks to the crappy script and bogus directing—(anyone with a budget and a good DP can make houses and actors look pretty).

Marcia Gay Harden also does the best with what she's got -- and from the first moment we're not supposed to like her as much as we're supposed to like Forlani, but I would have preferred to see her and Tambor than the rest of this rotten egg. 3. "The storyline was great and a nice mix of emotions evinced by it."

What story? Was it Brad Pitt's story? Or Anthony Hopkins'? Was it about redemption? Appreciating life? Appreciating wealth? I don't know, really. I would have appreciated a single good scene where Parrish opens up or starts to enjoy himself. If you knew you were going to die in a matter of days or weeks, and you had unlimited wealth, would you sit alone in a giant mansion and play solitaire? Neither would I, but Parrish does.

As for emotions, the only emotion I felt was bored. No single character ever made a connection with another character (as much as Tambor tried, his big scene was with Pitt – insert comical disappointment sound here "wa wa wa …"). No one said what was on their mind. And no one changed anything about their lives other than "accepting the inevitable." Ho-f'ing-hum.

Yes it is the best movie ever … in OPPOSITE WORLD!

Review by Crimedog