Diet Mountain Dew Code Red

Recently, after he found a moldy washcloth in one of my folds for the second time in a month, my doctor told me that I needed to lose weight. Grudgingly, I accepted, knowing that above all else, kicking my soda addiction would prove incredibly difficult. Fortunately, the Pepsi Company was there for me as they have been so many times in the past.

Diet Mountain Dew Code Red may be the most delicious diet beverage ever. Its full-sugared brother is outrageously sweet, and certainly unhealthy, as each can undoubtedly contains several train cars worth of Red No. 5.

The diet Code Red, though, is absolutely glorious. Refreshingly cherry-y with all the essential caffeine of the normal version. It's the first diet soda Iíve ever had that actually doesnít taste like a "diet soda," and it's also the first that I prefer over its non-diet counterpart.

Since Iíve started drinking it, Iíve now gotten my weight down into three-figure territory. Soon, Iíll actually be able to get out of bed, and eventually, Iíll actually reach my goal of being able to pleasure myself without using a mannequin arm!

Review by Periwinkle Burnt-Sienna